Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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