There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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