Your tits are I can't wait for
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
