He had one of those small greek statue penises
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
