I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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