kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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