if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
