He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Me too!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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