dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
