I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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