i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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