Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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