How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
