I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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