I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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