DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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