it hurts more in the daytime
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
