If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
