you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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