Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dicks are not precious.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
