So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
