is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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