I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
