im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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