well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
