Just mADE A PArabola og urine
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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