dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
