Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
