i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize