put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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