Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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