Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
