Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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