I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
