She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
