is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
