My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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