If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
