Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
