How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
