I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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