Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
