Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
