Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
