btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
