So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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