I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
