You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
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My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
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Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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