Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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