Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
