I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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