It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
