Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
