this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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