Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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