i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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