u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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