i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
