i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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