I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
