I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
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so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
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The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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