That's intense
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
