3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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