i permit you to call me
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
