girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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