Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
