At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
