are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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